Disastrous gifts, we’ve all had some in our life and we have all, if we are totally honest, given some! We can all name at least one person who needs gift training. As many of you know, my husband is the worst at gifting and is sometimes known as He Who Gives Grapefruit Knives due to him giving me a grapefruit knife as a birthday present when I don’t like grapefruit. This year’s birthday was no exception. This year I was gifted the wondrous gift of a salt lamp. Yes, a lump of salt sitting on a bulb on a pine base. I describe it as wondrous as I wonder where he got the idea of buying me this gift! At no stage in my time with him have I ever said I want a salty lamp, or I want a block of salt that doubles as a glowing turd in the corner of a room. I am not even someone who likes to cook with salt. My eldest had found out about this about two days before my birthday and proceeded to inform every one of his friends as he thought this was so hilarious. A 17-year-old boy realised that this would not be something I would be overjoyed at so how come my husband couldn’t?
How do I train a 40 something man on the art of gifting? This has been a puzzle for the last 16 years, it took me a few years to realise that he was gifting to the best of his ability and to be honest the first few years of dating he spent so much time abroad he was forgiven for being so bad! As you may know, I love doing teacher gifts as I find it good training for the children, you can read more on that by clicking here. I cannot exactly get the husband to start of teacher gifts, I respect the teachers too much for that!
Here are the tactics I have employed so far but to no avail.
A private Pinterest board which I only share with him. This has direct links to items that I like to make life so much easier. What usually happens is he suddenly remembers it is my birthday on the day itself and then I end up with a gift arriving four or five days late. There is something quite miserable about not getting a gift on your birthday.
I have sat down and explained about how I feel, how I do not expect the gift to be expensive just thoughtful, not medical or something he wants. A gift shows that you have thought of that person and spent a little time getting something you think they would like. Hate to admit it I have also shouted something similar.
I have walked around shops with him a week or so before my birthday pointing to items exclaiming how lovely that would be to receive and then arranging to meet him in another shop to give him time to go buy that item!
Finally, I am forcing him to buy his family’s birthday presents, hoping this will be good gift training. I email him links to suggestions, I send texts and emails to remind him, and I remind him when he is sitting down with his computer open. I pretty much do a 3-week countdown until he finally gets round to doing it. I hope this constant nagging, as nagging is what it really is, will finally get so annoying to him he shops for the gifts as soon as he is reminded!
Plea: So lovely people, do you have any suggestions of what can be done to get him to realise that a little time and effort can make wifey very happy? If you comment with your gift training ideas below, only your initials will be published and if anyone manages to come up with a successful way I will treat them to a few personalised gifts of their own and I promise they will be thoughtful!